Well, that was two weeks ago, and I still don’t like to complain, but since then I’ve been able to sit at the computer productively less and less each day. The pain has been increasing, and I was saving my Vicodin pills for serious episodes (i.e. when I screamed). And walking around with a cane all the time was starting to get old…especially in public, when people saw me and assumed I was old. Anyway, my leg started getting numb at random times and then all the time, so I made an appointment to see the doctor, which was today.

Just a few hours before the appointment, I was suddenly seized by a pain that felt like the mother of all cramps in my calf (as opposed to the mother of all calves, which would be a giant cow…but I was ready to have a cow anyway by this time). Somehow I had the presence of mind to check my leg muscles, and there were no knots, cramps, Charley Horses, or anything similar. It was just pure acute unmitigated pain with no apparent cause.

How bad was it? I called upon God, Panther, Jennifur, Susan, all known spiritual entities and beneficent demons, and used several dozen colorful metaphors. I called Susan’s voicemail to tell her I loved her, just in case. I was in very poor shape indeed.

Suddenly it stopped.

Of course, I expected it to start up again at any moment, but I took the opportunity to take a shower, get dressed, eat, and do all those things people do before going to the doctor. I wanted Steven with me just in case the pain struck again while I was driving, so I left as soon as he got home from school.

I was sure the doctor would tell me I had a blood clot in my leg that was about to break loose and kill me, but she decided my problem had all the symptoms of some sort of nerve damage or displacement (my mother always told me I had a lot of nerve). So tomorrow I’m off to get X-rays of my hip and pelvis, which doesn’t worry me because I’ve already had children.

And the kicker: all that jumping around I did with the non-cramp (or was it an anti-cramp?) must have jiggled something back into place, because virtually all the previous pain has been gone since then. Either that, or Panther and Jennifur really did manage to cure me…which wouldn’t surprise me much at this point.